Finally, I watched "The Martian". Wow! What a movie! Just loved it.
While watching it, a thought struck me. What if the film was made in Bollywood! So, I let my thought flow and I enter the fantasy land of Bollywood.
Okay now, let's imagine a full-fledged Bollywood masala version of "The Martian" with, of course, Mr. King Khan, oops, Dr. Shah Rukh Khan as the main protagonist and see where the story takes us.
So, Mark Watney becomes Raj Aryan Malhotra and of course, Raj cannot have a crew (especially a lady crew member), who can ignore the aura of romance that radiates from his body. Yes, it has to be Simran among the crew members, who faces the dilemma (just as Hamlet faced). To leave or not to leave is the question and Simran's loyalty towards Raj prevents her from leaving Mars as she always knows - dead or alive, Raj will reincarnate. Therefore, she stays back with unconscious Raj (assumed to be dead by others) and commands the crew to fulfill their mission.
Simran pulls Raj back to the Hab. When Raj regains consciousness, he is surprised to discover that his Senorita has not deserted him. Delighted yet stunned Raj gains faith in love. With tears in eyes, he hugs Simran and the background score plays, "Na juda honge hum, kabhi khushi kabhi gham! Ab Mars hi hai ghar, yahin khushi yahin gham!!!"
As the film progresses, Raj and Simran draw out a survival plan in the alien planet but in this emotionally romantic yet crisis situation, they completely forget about communicating to NASA or ISRO. They trust their brains and more importantly their love and believe that they will be able to convince Mars to accept them as its inhabitants, which with the course of time will change its atmosphere to suit the needs of Raj and Simran.
After 5 SOLs of love and romance, the couple begin to colonize Mars as they start growing plants there. Raj is definitely smarter than US trained Botanist, Mark and never lets the extra amount of oxygen to interfere with his cultivation techniques.
The red planet engenders poetry within the minds of the two young scientists and their love springs out in the form of an eternal anthem romance. They dance (with their space suits on) around the hills on the orange soil and dedicate the lyrics of their love song to Mars as they sing "Rang de tu mohe gerua."
They live a happy life with little struggle and lots of peace in a land so far away from the human civilization and most importantly, they never get bored. They often go for long drives in the Rover and then sleep peacefully at night.
On the other part of the universe, NASA, needless to mention, in collaboration with ISRO, is preparing for its next mission to Mars. Here, it is important for us to know that Simran did communicate to NASA about their survival when she got some time from her daily chores of agriculture and romance in the Martian fields. Actually, she did it when she fought with Raj and thought of coming back to Earth as she considered the blue planet as her "maika". The space research organizations on Earth decided to reset their calendar and planned to club the rescue mission with their future exploratory mission to Mars. With the help of ISRO's innovative technology and a young cute kid's (wannabe astro-dynamics scientist) calculations, NASA manages to send the mission that reaches Mars on Raj and Simran's 675th SOL of survival.
As the crew peep out of the spaceship before stepping into the Martian soil, they get confused to find stretches of green field on the planet. They doubt if they have landed on the right planet. With utter caution, the crew members step into the planet, one by one. As they take a few step forward, they hear sound of children, laughing. They look at each other and fear if Mars had life, I mean alien life. They are about to head back to the spaceship, when they receive a message from Raj Aryan Malhotra. "This is Raj Aryan Malhotra. Welcome to Mars. Copy." The crew turn back. Raj and Simran come out of the Hab (of course with their space suits on and not in a designer attire as Mars' atmosphere has not yet changed). Whoa, what's that?!!!! Both of them are holding a child in their arms. The twins, born out of love, born in Mars. The movie ends as the screen flashes in bold letters - "The Martians".
Enjoy the song as you colour yourself in the Martian hue...
